GRIEF & DYING

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   Grief takes many forms.  First there is the numbness & disbelief that the situation exists.  When reality sets in, the pain of physical, emotional, financial loss takes over.  People may either

         come around to assist you & comfort you or they choose to stay away for some reason.  Who knows the reason?  Either way, your loss becomes intense & painful, as time progresses.  The waiting, many revivals as the roller coaster ride begins each day!  Life has now changed for you forever!  God is in charge.  Only HE knows the day that death will come to release the pain.

         We decided to stay in familiar surroundings of our home, with family around surrounding us with love.  But because of my disability, I needed some home care added to Hospice services. The most

         economic way, is to have a live-in.  Average costs may be around $125 a day.  Average hourly rates may be around $14.50-$16.50 per hour. Besides caring for the patient, they also do light housekeeping, cooking, & care for my needs.  One downfall is that you must be able to provide a room for them.  If you are short on bedrooms, then it becomes a problem for the family to visit you.  You may or may not have to supply their meals.  The other drawback is that while the live-in is sleeping, someone else must take a shift, to help patient at night.  So either you will also need an hourly caregiver or you yourself, will have to help him.

         I had excellent caregivers, but since there were so many different people, at first it bothered me.  I felt a loss of privacy & space.  My people tried to keep me focused with time for myself.  But at a time like this, it is never a good situation, but they do their best to make you & the patient comfortable. I forgot that they were here to help me.  Instead, I wanted to be the perfect hostess & make everyone feel at home.  It was also hard to find time for myself, as I wanted to be with my husband.

         You may find that this stressful time brings out the worse in some of your family.  Old wounds & issues seem to crop up.  Try to not let them involve you in their squabbles.  You have enough on your plate.

         As Wayne deteriorated, it was suggested that I contact an undertaker.  I was told that giving notice of an upcoming death, eases things at the end.

         So now we wait for the decline again, which may result in another revival.  Such is life!  We do not know the time of our going in & coming out.  It is in God’s hands!

 

RE     REST IN PEACE, MY LOVE!

 

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